Dear 24 Hour Fitness,

I am writing you to cancel my membership. I tried to cancel in person and could not do it. I tried to cancel over the phone and could not do it. So I fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck had to write a letter to cancel my membership. You see I am canceling my membership because balls, dirty dirty balls, I have a disability that has made working out rather uncomfortable. You see titties, big old stretched marked national geographic titties I am suffering from a very extreme form of tourettes and it makes being in public trying at times.

I try to go out of twat twat twat Mary Poppin’s hairy twat to avoid situations where I know my affliction will cause a problem. I try not to head out in crowded places during peak times. I avoid Harry Harry Harry Harry Harry Harry Harry Hamlin being in places when I know children are going to be around. I try to avoid places that I know will cause me stress. My doctor recommended I work out to help alleviate some the anxiety I have in relation to my Downton Abbey Downton Abbey Downton Abbey Downton Abbey disease.

To that end I made sure to work out later in the evening but your gym is surprisingly packed at 2AM in the morning. When my pulse rises as it does during vigorous exercise my tourettes has a tendency to present itself. I was asked by ketchup ketchup ketchup ketchup ketchup members of your staff to stop yelling while I worked out. I had a letter from my doctor explaining my situation and that I should be treated with the same care and respect that you would treat a retard (that was not my tourettes, I don’t believe in using politically correct terms like handicapped). After multiple outbursts I was asked to leave the gym. Chimp Dicks Chimp Dicks Chimp Dicks Chimp Dicks. I just want to work out as per my doctors orders.

However it seems that your gym is not the sort of place that welcomes people with a disability. I guess I will have to go work out at the sort of place that welcomes the kind of people that society shuns, I speak of course of the YMCA. Pillow Fort Pillow Fort Pillow Fort Pillow Fort. It’s a common misconception that people with touretttes only swear. It can often be just a phrase or a word that gets repeated over and over again and again and again and again and again and again and again. PICKLES. Sometimes it can just be a single word that is shouted out. PICKLES.

The real issue that I had wasn’t that I was asked to leave your gym but that I was forced to write a letter to you in order to have my membership cancelled. Hemorrhoids Hemorrhoids Hemorrhoids Hemorrhoids Hemorrhoids Hemorrhoids. It just seems that I should be able to cancel my membership over the phone. I can’t remember the last time I wrote a letter. To be frank I wasn’t even sure that the post office even existed anymore. I thought about using Stamps.com have you guys heard about that one? I listen to a lot of podcasts. My sister’s pussy My sister’s pussy My sister’s pussy My sister’s pussy My sister’s pussy My sister’s pussy My sister’s pussy everyone look at my sister’s pussy.

So I would just like to put this whole incident behind us. Banana in my ass Banana in my ass Banana in my ass Banana in my ass Banana in my ass Banana in my ass Banana in my ass. So I would like to not only cancel my membership but also have my money refunded. I hope that you can understand my problem and I can get my membership canceled before the next cock cock cock cock cock cock cock billing cycle. And before you ask, yes tourettes can present itself in a written form.

All The bloody asshole bloody asshole bloody asshole bloody asshole bloody asshole Best,

Darren Hamlish