It is with a heavy and tired heart that I am writing you this letter. As my twelfth birthday is approaching I have decided to take leave of you and our home. Initially you were a kind and caring father. I feel that the last few years since you have taken declared yourself a libertarian have ripped our family apart. Though I have no quarrel with the idea of libertarianism in theory, in practice it has made you a very shitty father. You need to apply your (and let’s be honest Glenn Beck’s and Ayn Rand’s) beliefs to the raising of your children has been misguided at best and most likely illegal at worst.
I remember around my tenth birthday when you began to treat us differently. You told my that if I wanted a present I would have to go out and work for it. No free lunches you said let alone a free Playstation. I tried to explain that I was ten and that getting full time employment was not only difficult it was illegal. But you told me I didn’t need to pay head to the laws of an tyrannical government. You kept saying the government was our biggest threat. I just wanted a birthday present father. That if I wanted to work I should go out and work. I was but a ten year old father. I often thought that your switch to libertarianism was mostly about you being cheap. I couldn’t help but notice that it happened shortly after you lost your job.
As my eleventh birthday neared I mentioned to you that my arm hurt after I fell out of a tree. You said that I should set it myself. That I shouldn’t rely on the false prophets of medicine to look after it. You said that the thing to do wasn’t to be scared but to use this experience to learn. Father I assure you I knew that falling out of tree was not something I every wanted to do before I did it. You should have taken me to the hospital. Though my arm has healed slightly it is still misshapen and I have trouble holding a pencil.
Later in that same year you stopped making us dinner after mother left. You wanted us to learn to find food and cook for ourselves. Where were we meant to find food father? We live in the middle of Detroit. It was the dead of winter, were we meant to steal from the 7/11? Father your need to impart your rather extreme and naive political views on us is had gone too far. I never asked to be born father but I do believe it is your responsibility to raise us and look after us till at least the age of 18. And, yes before you scream it to no one in particular I imagine you find the idea of the government dictating an age of adulthood absurd. But guess what father even when you don’t agree with a law it is still a law.
Do you have any idea how silly your libertarian views seem? What is it exactly that you believe father? That everyone should fend for themselves. Well good luck paving your own road father. I look forward to reading in your self published newspaper how you put out the fire that had engulfed your home and arrested the arsonist that set it. I do happen to wonder father, are you still collecting unemployment and disability? I would hate to think that you were because if the government was just giving you money it had collected from someone else what would would you call that? I guess it might rhyme with mocialism. Fare well father. I tire of you and your silly views and will take my chances on the road. I hope to become a marine biologist and spend my days with dolphins I hear that they take care of their own.